Does This Make My Butt Look Big?
by x lovelydisaster
Summary: James Potter doesn't like the way he looks.


**I have no idea what this is... **

"I think I need to lose some weight." James Potter declared, as he stood in the middle of the common room, shirtless, pinching mere skin on his side. "What do you think, Lils, does this belong here?"

She looked up at him in disbelief. James Potter was confiding in her with his weight insecurities.

Her poked his stomach. "And look at this. It's a bit pudgy."

Now Lily wasn't the type of girl to hang posters of half dressed males in her dorm and attend Quidditch practices because she might be able to catch a glimpse of one of the players shirtless. But she wasn't daft. She knew what a good male body was. And, unfortunately, the Head Boy had one of those.

She watched him poke and prod at himself. Pinching skin and jugging what he thought was fat. "I don't reckon an Auror can be this pudgy."

Did he want to see pudgy? Because Lily had plenty of unpleasant areas that were pudgy enough.

"What the hell are you going on about, Potter?" Lily asked with a look of concern.

"Well, I asked if you think I should lose some weight. Because," He pinched his side again, "I don't think you're supposed to have fat right here."

"For your information, Potter, that is merely skin. And yes, you _are_ supposed to have that."

"Ya' think? 'Cause Sirius told me I looked like I was starting to gain a few pounds. I mean, we can't all be like him, can we?" He sounded quite bitter as he spoke.

And since when do boys compare and complain about their bodies? She thought was something only girls did. "I think you look rather fine, Potter. Both of you look just fine." The last part of her sentence came off sounding much more desperate than she had planned.

"I think it's 'cause I'm sorter than Sirius. I mean, I think that's why he's thinner than I am. I do suppose I've more muscles." He flexed his arm as he spoke.

"How does one exactly, er, diet?" He finally asked after a moment of silence. He was perched on the back of the armchair that Lily had been enjoying her quiet time in.

"James Potter, you certainly do not need to diet." Lily let out a great laugh. This causing James to blush in embarrassment and turn away slightly. "Oh, were you serious?" She held back her last couple snickers. "Well, certainly changing your eating habits would help. But, honestly, Potter, you don't need to _diet_. You're perfectly fine the way you are. "

He perked up slightly and managed to move onto the arm of the chair instead of the back. "You think so?" He asked, "How so?"

"I mean, how do I put this? You've got a rather nice physique. No need to change it. And I'm sure Quidditch helps some. The season starts soon… I'm sure that'll help." Why did Lily even have to give advice to him? Didn't he have his own friends?

"Quidditch does kick butt. Reackon I'll slack off 'cause I'm coach and I've kinda got that right."

"At least you're not going to deny the fact that you'll slack off."

"Just observe how my teammates are doing so that I can perfect all the techniques. I'm not going to win the cup by _playing_."

"That's like saying you're not going to get the grade by _studying_, Potter. And that's just ridiculous." Lily scoffed.

"Oh, you're so silly, Lily!" James wrinkled his nose and Lily rolled her eyes.

"Why are you bothering me with this nonsense, Potter?" Lily asked exhaustedly.

"Oh, I just wanted you to tell me I was good looking. Isn't that what you girls do?" He asked, before trying to mimic the voice of a girl. "My hair looks horrible? What do you think girls?"

Lily couldn't help but crack a smile at that. He did have a point. Her smile quickly turned into a scowl, though. "Well mission failed, yes?"

"Not quite." He had squeezed himself onto the armchair with Lily somehow. "You told me I had a nice – what was that word, Lils – physique?" He had a sneaky grin planted on his face.

"I'm not one to tell lies, Potter."

"I admire that about you, Lils. 'Cause we bloody know I'm no saint."

"Surprise, surprise." She let out a dry laugh.

"Come watch me practice next week. I'll work extra hard so I loose this fat and you won't be embarrassed when you're with me during the Hgosmeade trip." James casually had his arm draped around her shoulder.

"Now, that's a bit harsh to say I would be embarrassed by you for the way you _look_!" Lily was once again rolling her eyes. Boy.

"So you'll go to Hogsmeade with me?" He'd trapped her. Literally trapped her with his arm and his words.

Lily swiftly wormed her way out of the chair and was standing. "As long as you don't wear those pants, Potter." She winked, heading towards the stairs to her room. "They do, matter of fact, make your butt look a bit large."

**review?**


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